one man musical

I do some charity work with stroke victims at the weekend and I was thinking wouldn't it be cool to perform a one man musical of different strokes with the stroke victims as a kinda of choir. It could raise awareness of issues such as midgetism and also funny at the same time. I think I would play the best Arnold though a bit of shoe polish would do the trick

Mrs Bacon and groceries

So Mrs Bacon is going to want me to help with the groceries tomorrow but the Baconator has got no time for that.
I will use the excuse of saying that I want to work on my script for "Bacon and Eggs"- Bacon and Eggs is a romantic comedy whereby lots of sexy infertile women are desperate for my man juice. Secretly however I will watch a couple of taped episodes of "Baywatch" with the sound turned down- ho ho.
If that Pamela Anderson was to pop around to my crib during a lazy afternoon while Mrs Bacon is out. I would make love to her in the following order......ass....boobies...ass...mouth...boobies and If I had any left ...ass........ no mouth. Yes definately mouth

Dinner with Steve Guttenberg

So Steve Guttenberg came to New York last night and gave me a call. I was like "Hey Steve, how are you doing pal, loving watching you on dancing with the stars but I am confused which star are you dancing with "
We went to dinner at Gramercy Tavern - Steve kept on and on about how he wished he had a girlfriend and showed me some snaps of his holidays in Cambodia - Wow it must be very hot in Cambodia as some of those kids were practically naked.
Then Steve after a few martinis started to cry and asked me could I use my "seven degrees of seperation connections" to help him flog a script for "Three men and a bag of kittens". I was like "Guttenberg, you can hightower your police academy mahoney ass elsewhere if you think that I am gonna flog that piece of shit around agents you got another thing coming" Honestly some people

Friday 5-30

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